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| CP
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Official
press release
KLEIN
“STAMPIED” BY THE BANANA-CREAM THREE
Monday morning, in the beautiful (yet corporate
headquarter ridden) city of Calgary, Alberta’s
premier was busy flipping flapjacks and beef sausages
(because he can’t sell them to his friends in
the USA anymore) when a team of dedicated pie-throwers
delivered him the long awaited dessert that he deserved:
a succulent banana-cream pie, that Ralph Klein himself
qualified as “good tasting”, unlike his
politics (which leave a bad taste too often in many
people’s mouths).
Obviously, the Banana-Cream three, who were from Calgary,
did not include a married gay couple. Ralph would
not permit that in his province, even though the rest
of Canada’s governments will stop harassing
gay citizens and finally treat same-sex couples equally
by letting them marry. They find it utterly funny
that Mister Klein would try to give the pie-throwers
lessons in democracy. They suggest he opens a dictionary,
looks up the word “plutocracy”, and then
tells them how much it costs to become Premier of
a province like Alberta.
Is it surprising to see Ralph Klein opposing the Kyoto
Accord for the right of big corporations to pollute,
the same corporations that finance his campaigns?
Talk about democracy in action! He even threatened
to separate from Canada for his friends’ right
to pollute. Even if you do separate, Mister Klein,
your pollution will not stay over Alberta, and all
the provinces are concerned. This pie will not fill
the hole in the ozone layer, but it feels good to
our environment, because, for once, the joke is not
at our expense.
Remember when King Ralph went in a homeless shelter
on a winter night, completely drunk, to yell at the
people there and throw money in their faces before
leaving in a rage? Afterwards, he confessed he had
an alcohol problem; the three were happy to hear it,
because, for a while, they thought he had a problem
with the poor… The stampede breakfast marked
the first time that Ralph Klein’s face was red
in public and it was not due to drinking. They hope
that the pie may have finally cured him.
Pie High!
P.S. Now, Mister Klein does not only have the threat
of separation in common with Quebec, both provinces
have pied their Premier. There are only 8 more to
go! |
